[3] Adversity and Superpowers
How can your greatest weaknesses be your superpowers?
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We are often only obsessed with our strengths. We value strengths and see them as our superpowers. On the other end of the spectrum, we hate our weaknesses. We see them as things that hinder us and generally to avoid altogether.
But this is too obvious of a way to view our strengths and weaknesses. We can start with very basic examples.
Talking vs Listening: Some might think that their weakness is that they tend to talk a lot, but aren’t there situations where a person needs to talk a lot? The opposite of talking a lot: listening, is generally perceived as a strength (“Wow, you are a great listener”). But aren’t there situations where you want to speak up rather than just listen?
Focus vs Scatter: Some people who have a scattered brain think that it’s a weakness because they cannot focus, but aren’t there times where focus is not required and freedom for your mind to roam around in its own space is perfectly fine? Focus can also be a good thing, but if you are focusing on the wrong things, wouldn’t that limit you?
Okay, let’s go a little deeper.
We’ve met many brilliant individuals who come from adversity but have accomplished great things. Many of them attribute their success to adversity and the related circumstances they were born into.
Inevitably, we ask “but isn’t adversity a bad thing?”
Adversity (or difficulties in life) usually are framed as bad things, as weaknesses and as something to avoid. Even the people that overcame it, when they reflect on their adversity, talk about the adversity they faced in their past largely as a negative.
Take someone who grew up in a modest immigrant household and is the first person in their family to go to college (“first-gen”). That experience can be and is often extremely challenging. In an immigrant household, everyone has to pitch in. Immigrant and first-gen kids did more adult-things as a kid than kid-things as a kid. Things like applying to college are overly challenging due to lack of support systems. There is no guidance and absent guidance, you are constantly facing things that you didn’t know you didn’t know… unknown unknowns…
The facts and details of these stories are often shared as something negative (it’s called adversity for a reason). Most people run away from their adversity.
To be clear, we are NOT wishing adversity on anyone or that we would choose these same circumstances for ourselves.
But that is NOT the choice we have.
We cannot change the circumstances we come from, and everyone who comes from any form of adversity cannot change their background. It’s just a part of who they are.
So given it’s a part of who we are, do we always have to see it as a bad thing?
Yes, being an immigrant, first-gen college student has a lot of challenges. You often feel like you are behind. But the skills that you pick up as an immigrant, first-gen college student ends up being priceless. Growing up as an immigrant, in a modest household and figuring out how to be the first in your family to go to college teaches you so much about working hard, overcoming challenges and hustling. These are your superpowers.
Can these superpowers and character traits exist without the adversity or challenging circumstances you were given earlier on in life?
You are the person you are today because of the person you were yesterday. When we talk about adversity, have we ever tried to see how adversity is a key catalyst for the superpowers hidden within you?
It’s all perspective.
That’s really the point here… life is how you choose to see it.
If you don’t like what you see, change how you see it. NOT saying this is easy. It’s absolutely f$*&en hard. Change is hard.
And oftentimes, our default is to try to change the world around us, but when has that ever worked?
All we can do is change ourselves. And if changing yourself means reframing qualities about you that society may call “negative” or your younger self has called “negative”, then that kind of reframing is perfectly fine.
Remember the only person you are living with 24/7 is yourself; if you can get yourself to see things in a different light that is more positively impactful for you, why not?
The circumstances you come from make you who you are today.
They may not be the happy parts of your existence, but they also don’t need to be the sad parts either.
They also may have been the sad parts, but they no longer need to be the sad parts today.
Not everyone has the luxury to instantly change, but the potential to change and see things differently is often what has made the difference in the world… and more importantly, in your world. 🪨💎🤲